Looooser

I have done exactly nothing but sit in my room and read all day (finished The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. SO good). So I thought I would give a run down of just a very small sample of Scottish/British words that confuse me. These are used regularly in everyday conversations.

American > Scottish
Detour > Diversion
Know > Ken
Bar > Pub
Child > Bairn
Major (at school) > Course
Course (at school) > Module
Small > Wee

Other things that continue to throw me off:
-Door handle are on the other side of the door.
-The outlets are weird (duh).
-Driving on the "wrong" side.
-Putting "u" in words where it doesn't belong.
-Saying "No bother" where Americans would say "Don't worry about it".
-Blowing your nose in public is apparently rude... whoops.
-Complete strangers will talk to you like you are old friends.
-The weather (I swear Mother Nature here is bipolar and menopausal).

Other things I have learned:
-DO NOT ever mention football while in a pub. EVER.
-Also, NEVER pick sides between the two Glasgow football teams. Unless you want a black eye.
-Don't ever confuse Scottish with English. Calling them British is acceptable, though.
-Don't talk about politics. Unless you want a black eye.
-All museums here are free!
-Invest in good walking shoes.
-Don't assume you know where someone is from based on their accent. You'll sound like a fool.
-The heating in British buildings is crap. Layer.
-Girls wear really uncomfortable-looking shoes. Practicality is apparently not important here.
-Don't point out the fact you are American. They know. Really.
-Minnesota is apparently only known for snow, lakes and MOA.
-No one uses umbrellas. Ever. It's too windy.
-Don't ask people about their family unless you have three hours and a bottle of whisky close by.